Ok.  I am seriously tired of going into watching a game or reading about some new DP coming to MLS and not having anyone to talk about it with.  Sometimes I try and then I remember “oh yeah, I must be the only person in the ENTIRE CITY OF MEMPHIS that actually watches/ reads about MLS.” So here are the top ten reasons you should start watching or paying attention to soccer in America (Not in any specific order, bc no reason is more equal-er than another reason right?)

10.  The kits (unifroms/jerseys) are waaaay cooler than they are in any other sport.  I’m going to get all girly here and just say it.  Guys look really really ridiculously good looking in soccer uniforms.  Am I the only one who thinks this?  I doubt it. 

Last week my five-year-old little sister asked me why I watched soccer so much.  It was kind of a random question, but if there is a MLS game on the tele, I’m going to watch it.  I told her it’s because I thought the game was absolutly beautiful.  And then I commented that the guys are hot too.  Her response “oooh sissy you just want a soccer boyfriend!”  Hell yeah kid, you’re damn right I want a soccer boyfriend! Which brings me to number nine…

9.  Seriously hot players. I would LOVE to say players like Bocanegra and Feilhaber should be one reason, but seeing as they don’t play for MLS anymore I had to dig deep and find some less known players.  So here are 5 not-so-well-known American soccer players.

  • Chris Tierney – Defender for New England Revolution. 
  • Brad Evans – Midfielder for Seattle Sounders FC.
  • Logan Pause – #7 Midfielder of Chicago Fire.  Of course I had to put one of my Fire boys on here. 
  • Colin Clark – Left Winger for Colorado Rapids.  Mmmmm….
  • Bill (Abdul) Hamid – Goal keeper for DC United.  From what I have seen/read/heard, he could be the “next” Tim Howard.  Pssh… as the self proclaimed worst soccer fan in the world… I really have no clue. 

A couple more names worth mentioning:  Andy Najar (he’s only 17 though, so I don’t feel right drooling over him.) and Stu Holden (no longer plays for MLS,but I still dream about him every night.)

8.  What other sport is going to require a man to endure 90 minutes of non stop action?  Can your man go the full 90? Seriously,  these guys run around a field for 90 full minutes (sometimes) chasing a ball.  It’s great.  Have you EVER seen a soccer player with his shirt off.  WOW.  Amazing.  These aren’t guys that are roided out or freaks of nature like Basketball, Baseball, and Football players.  They are usually average height and have some amazingly yummy looking abs. 

7.  The foot work.  These guys are phenomenal with their  feet.  I wonder what they can do with their hands?  It’s like a little dance out there.  It’s just… beautiful.  There is really no other way to describe it.  It’s like the riverdance of sports? 

6.  The fans.   They are just great.  So supportive.  Guy soccer fans tend to play soccer too, which means you are less likely to encounter a fat redneck at a game hitting on you. If you get hit on, more than likely it’s gonna some from a spry lean guy, or maybe a mexican.  But hey, he’s probably gonna be hot either way.  Unfortunatly I always feel like I have to dumb myself down for guy soccer fans.  “What?  Who is Charlie Davies?” Stanky leg? What?!  ”Offsides?  What’s that?”  I noticed guys are a little threatened by real soccer knowledge coming from a girl… and watch out for the EPL fans… Oh sorry.  I meant the Premier League.  (I’m an American and therefore I have a love of abbreviations.) 

5. Because if you are going to watch soccer and you are an American, why not just watch MLS too? Ok yeah I follow Bundesliga and I try to pay attention to what Americans are doing in other countries, but watching games here just seems more patriotic.  Sure Sure, have your favorite Footy Club in the UK, but can’t you at least pick an MLS FC as well to follow?  I promise you these American soccer players aren’t as bad as people act like they are… 

4.  The game is beautiful.  It’s not like any other sport where it really doesn’t matter until the final quarter.  The whole game matters here because that one point may be the ONLY goal of the entire freaking game.  And it’s so much more satisfying to watch a soccer game where the score is 1-0 or 2-1 because the buildup is intense. 

3.  It’s only 90 minutes.  It’s not going to take 5 hours like some other lame sport like…. baseball for instance.  Ever watch a soccer game?  You have to seriously stayed glued to the game because you may miss something important if you don’t.  My advice to you:  if you go to a live game, try not to use the restroom until AFTER one of the teams score.  When I went to my first Chicago Fire game, I waited and waited and then finally ran up the stairs to go potty, and guess what I hear when I am washing my hands?  “GOAAAAAAAAAL!” Crap… I missed ChiFire’s first goal at my first ever MLS game!  After that I drank myself into oblivion…

2.  It’s an INTERNATIONAL SPORT.  As in most of the world plays it.  So you can take your fandom anywhere in the world (almost) and people are going to understand where you are coming from because more than likely, they are just as crazy about this sport as you are.  Please don’t mention Becks to me though, he kind of irritates me.

1.  I’ll buy you a beer. If you watch a game with me, I’ll buy you a beer.  Maybe two.  Who doesn’t want free beer?